So we have a few beers on Thursday night and these evil people make me write a post.
Actually I have nothing to say. I guess the only topic worth talking about when one is drunk is talk about women or womyn as the dictator would say. Now this dude has already lost his heart and the other one has been married for like 20 years (he is 30 ) so I would concede that they probably know more about women than I do but since when has lack of knowledge stopped me from spewing nonsense.
So a few days ago I had linked a post on DP from some moron (whom I no longer remember) who thinks women who cant cook should be rejected right away. I give five reasons why that is so and I absolutely agree with him.
a) If she is not cooking then how the hell is she going to be busy? That means time would be demanded from me! Now, can I spare time from blogging and indulging Jyo to actually talk to some idiot who cant even feed me?
b) If I have to order the food from outside, then what the hell is her purpose in life? I might outsource other activities too. No?
c ) All the bleedy sex is going to make me hungry at some point of time. You don’t feed me properly, don’t make my tummy happy then you can go to hell. And stay there. For good. And no sex for you.
d) I don’t like cooking. I think it’s the hardest task in the world. Some people claim that I would rather travel thousands of miles than cook. I say to these morons: That’s still a wise choice. Now, that’s not fair but who the hell said life is fair or for that matter I am fair? And what the hell is so nice about being fair anyways?
e) I can’t think of a fifth point. I am out of bloody beer. I lost my inspiration. This when I miss women. I could have bloddy well sent her out to buy me some. Sigh!Anyway, suggest a few more in the comment section. And I will buy you a Beer.
And yes, while I am at it, based on some recent experiences, I would humbly request a few people not to take blogging so seriously. I can’t believe how seriously people take blogs. Now if you are as smart as this dude is, then it is understandable but imagine this dude or for that matter this moron taking their blogs seriously! One might as well take Chacha Chaudhary seriously!
Filed under: Personal Stuff
its because of sexist @#!@#s like you that the blogosphere is going to dogs. chih!
One of your best posts ever. You should drink more often! See how confident it made you.. never in the history of humanity has a man said (or thought about saying) to a woman: no sex for you.
I take offense at not taking Chacha Chaudhary seriously. You should remember that “Jab Saabu ko gussa aata hai, to kahin jwalamukhi fat-ta hai” .. not to forget that “Chacha Chaudhary ka dimaag computer se bhi tej chalta hai”. These are important things to know in order to live your life well.
vivek,
JUPITER pe jwalamukhi fat-ti hai. JUPITER pe. no less
Wait – you are saying we should not take you seriously – so we should not take this post seriously – so the advice to not take it seriously is not to be considered seriously ? Head explodes…..
a) I pity your existence, cause people make you write a post….you are used only for writing posts… when people USE people for many other exotic expeditions, SEX being one of them. you need a complete Makeover
come over to me, in Mumbai, I will give you one.
b) Your hypothesis of “men who lost their heart strings and men who are stuck in the rut know more about women” is downright ghastly thing, Utter nonsense
Women are the most incomprehensible beings. And men have no option other than losing their strings n other vital stats or get stuck, grow withered
1. “Women who cant cook”…be specific ! Cook what? just vegetables, greens, douse them with wine while cooking,chikken, goat, lambs, drum sticks,wings, thighs, breasts, men ….COOK WHAT? ask that moron to be specific. n you be specific. Cuase women boil n cook every damn thing that’s in their vicinity
2. “I might outsource other activities too”. Please do Outsource. It’s great a business proposition for wimmen like me. Do consider reliable sources, else, you will end up as one weird case study or the lead role in AIDS-XXXII series
3. “bleedy sex” or “bloody sex”?
4. No sex for you…. who cares? do wimmen really care? there are STAR-wman who bedded more than 1000 men..read
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/meet-the-woman-whos-bedded-more-than-1000-men/59789-19.html
in your point a) ……indulging Jyo to actually talk to some idiot who cant even feed me?
Is that me?
watch Babette’s feast. Bella Martha.n watch Nine 1/2 Weeks, the erotic sexual journey….the food scene in front of the refrigerator, and Kim Basinger’s striptease. It’s all about Food, Sex, Food, Sex, Sex and Food ..honey!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7exc8b4nzOo
Only REAL MEN who are assertive about their Masculinity can handle the LETHAL COMBO offer that has vital ingredients “Food and Woman”
How can you get drunk on beer. You are sad.
Confused,
kaunsa beer piya tune, bhai ??
Anyway, wife who doesnt cook should not be rejected –
1. Applying for a LPG connection is a headache, in India. Bribe, call up repeatedly, etc etc and still end up boiling more blood that could be boiled with that cylinder of gas. If she doesnt cook, you dont have to run around for getting a connection.
2. Eating out everyday !! Try out various restaurant… Let someone else bother about gas and ingredients.
3. I dont like the sight of used thaalis, spoons and cookers.
4. No shopping for daal rice raajma baingan etc.
5. No smells of frying masalas at your home..
6. Tell the wife that you will go out and get the food parcelled, and have a can of beer on the way.
Pearls of Wisdom* Experience from Rippu
wonderful
Dearest R
I strongly feel that a man should nt reject his girl friend/”l’amant chaud de bodied”(hot bodied lover)/wife who does not want to cook
Women are extremely difficult creatures to grasp hold of them and they love men who keep them on tenterhooks….all the time and they would love it when men do kick start the excitement spree ..Surprise her!
Unfortunately, this generation of men have a narrow sense of sex…like 4 times in the bed….
no you guys have split them – once on the window sill, once on the dining table (let thngs flow in all directions baby), on the hard n cold kitchen floor, …wet stair case ..on the roof….etc etc…see, even ur home gets maximum content n utilisation
you as a man need to run a theme on every Sunday
“Where and when exactly did we have the best sex baby”?
try this out, disseminate the same thing to ur other men folk …
dont forget to collect consultancy fees (50% is mine, 50% is urs) we seriously have to get into such collaboration.
- “Sensorial delights” consultants
Jyothsna,
Thank you …. Just another way of thinking – thinking perpendicularly to the accepted line of thought.
If it takes you beer to get such fantastic posts from you then I don’t mind pitching in for some every week
Really had me LOL. I would have liked to comment but I want to stay married so I plead the Fifth.
Blogging While Intoxicated
Bleeding While Fornicated
Whatever.
TGFI,
I am not sexist.. I am sexed.. cheers.
Vivek,
Sire, what is the harm in saying that when you are not going to get anyways? It is more a function of deprivation than bravery.
And yes, I apologize about the Chacha bit.. hope you don’t send Sabu my way.
Jyo,
Let me say it for once and for all: I have no fucking idea what you are talking about. Never have, never will. And yes.. cheers. But you don’t drink.. then why do you live, woman?
Gaurav,
Have you ever had one? Even your Gods got drunk on Somrasa you pathetic loser…
Shadows,
Michelob. My favorite beer.
Hann re, you are quite right. Unfortunately in USA, these LPG claims don’t work. But I say still there are more than enough reasons. Next time I get drunk will think of five more.
Pat,
Barb,
Hvw you borrowed Jyo’s brain?
Michelob. My favorite beer.
…….Michelob was invented during a brewer’s strike in the 1930s from a recipe tossed together by the untrained workers left behind to run the brewery. It was so bad local taverns tossed their delivered barrels in the gutter until the streets ran with beer. When the strike was over, the brewery didn’t want to lose all that beer, no matter how bad, so they repackaged it and sold it as Michelob……
http://www.professorshouse.com/food-beverage/wine-and-spirits/beer-facts-trivia.aspx
tehehe….but kid, I love your blog…n everyone does.
-A teetotaller.A clean system.Unpolluted.95% Virgin.
In about 30 hours, this post has roused so much rubble, it’s amazing. Dear confused, you were tricked into writing some MC rant most men would love to read and ROFL. But nobody who has ever been in a serious relationship,forget marriage, can wholeheartedly agree to. Because…
a) Food you can outsource too easily. Moreover, with inventions like the food processor and microwave, it can’t keep your woman occupied too long. She’ll still drag your attention away from pampering Jyo.
b) There are other things to marriage , more aesthetic, more stimulating, more intellectually demanding than mere cooking skills that you have to look for in your spouse. Like dishwashing, laundering and housekeeping to name just a few. Even in a poor country like India, a whole time housekeeper is hard to find, afford or keep. I’m sure it’ll be out of the question in the US if you are not one of those obscenely rich people.
c) If you are used to good food, you might be in for disappointment because most wives who can cook can’t cook well enough.
d) On an unrelated note, one of my friends had famously said once, “I like an intelligent woman. I want to have some conversation going while having sex.” This was when we were in college, and how many chicks he had laid is anybody’s guess.
e) Why do think it’s a given that the sex will be great and exhausting and might make you hungry ? Believe me man, it’s the most unlikely scenario in a marriage or even in a steady relationship. And I’ve been married for, what, sixty-odd years ( I’m pushing forty)
So get drunk on some good wine next time and let us hear more from you about womyn.
Michelob : just says everything that needs to be said.
What I meant was if you are going to be cheap about getting drunk at least drink Ballantine 12 years.
Dear Partho,
I do undertand that i was tricked. These people r bloody bad people.
Now, you know what? I don’t mind doing the dishes, I mean you feed me a great dinner and then expect me to wahs my dish, I don’t mind. Really.
About the sex bit, I agree. I guess its nice to build sand castles. When things don’t go right, we shall see.
Bongo,
Sire, sorry for missing the last comment of yours. I was just demanding that your non-seriousness should be absolutely serious. As soon that condition is not met, you shall be punished.
And yes, stop making fun of PIGS. You want me rant against post-docs who work between vacations and have married rich, nice working woman? I know exactly one such dude…
As a former PIGS not so long ago, I wasnt making fun of that.
My contention is the cost/drunkeness ratio can be equally if not better matched stuff other than Michelob. I mean if you are going to invest money in alcohol, invest wisely….
Sire,
I know. We shall seek your advice now and drink what you order!