Of course we are discourteous

Reader’s Digest has come out with a courtesy survey, conducted in over 35 cities all over the world The results are startling indeed. The big bad New York has been rated as the most courteous of the lot while Mumbai brings up the rear. What were the survey questions in this admittedly unscientific survey.-

They performed three experiments: “door tests” (would anyone hold one open for them?); “docpiece,ument drops” (who would help them retrieve a pile of “accidentally” dropped papers?); and “service tests” (which salesclerks would thank them for a purchase?).

Two Mumbaikars (one ex, I think) have sprang to Mumbai’s defense.

First one here. (link via Desipundit)

Happy go Lucky makes the point that this survey questions show a cultural bias and are not reflective of the norms which prevail in our society. For example, we are not used to opening doors for strangers.

I do admit he has a point, but we should not be reading too much into it. Any kind of such cross-city survey will face some cultural issues, even those between Delhi and Mumbai. But in the larger context of things, does it change anything? Anyone who has lived in any of our larger cities, has faced the maddening traffic, the incessant use of horns at redlights, our refusal to give way on staircases, on intersections or to even pedestrians crossing the road will vouch for the fact that as a society we do not value being courteous to others, while demanding the same for ourselves. Remember, the impunity with we throw garbage on the streets while ensuring our own homes are spanking clean.

If you think these are not applicable to India, suggest me a courtesy index in which Indians will score higher over the West.

Coming to Amit’s piece he makes two points-

What I find rather strange is that people are defining rudeness here not by things that people do, but by what people don’t do

It would have been a fair criticism if they were defining rudeness. They have not claimed that Mumbai is the 35th most rude city in the world, they have claimed it is the least courteous of the lot. Courtesy requires the presence of positive action, rudeness the absence presence of negative action. In that light, the questions are appropriate.

If by Western social norms Asia is rude, I’m sure by Asian norms the West would be madly rude as well. I’m sure many more people in Mumbai touch elders’ feet at weddings than they do in New York, which topped this trivial survey

Same problem, courtesy and not rudeness.

Apart from that, touching someone’s feet is not courtesy. It is a mark of respect. We do not touch the feet of strangers in lieu of thanking them. Do we?

There is something inherently nice about thanking people or helping someone pick up his stuff from the road. As someone who has done all sorts of jobs in his never-ending student days, I can personally vouch for the fact that Americans have been much more courteous to me than I was to people in similarly placed positions in India. It is a lesson I have learnt and I hope to carry it back home.

Of course, one can argue that one cannot be faulted for not being courteous as long as you are not stepping on someone else’s toes. Fine, then why get riled when a survey names your city as the least courteous one?

Amit recognises this inherent contradiction when he close his piece with..

And it’s a waste of time to blog about such surveys.

Fair enough!

One last point, while paying for your friend’s birthday bill (an often given example) e.t.c can be considered courteous, they are more of cultural issues. Courtesy is when you do something for a complete stranger without expecting anything in return from that particular person; let a car go first on an intersection.

p.s I am so much relieved that Delhi was not even considered for such a survey. Ah! but the reporters might never have got out of Delhi alive. Before you pounce on me, I must point out that I am a lifelong Delhite and it is a city I love to death. Unfortunately, its just not courteous.

Update- A lot of confusion seems to be there because Indian Express has covered it as a rudeness survey, it is not. It is a survey to find out which is the most courteous city in the world and not to find which one is the most rude. Please bear that in mind while evaluating this survey.